


Across the 110th street

by Psychoodkiller



Category: Justice (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-03-03 22:35:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 18,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2890463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psychoodkiller/pseuds/Psychoodkiller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Ok, this is nothing more than tv shows and movies that I watch. I put some "Born to kill?" in here and other things. </p><p>1- If I be late to post, that's because I'm working and studying.<br/>2- So sorry for my bad english, I'm brazilian, I could learn english, but I prefer study music at the moment.<br/>3- Yeah, yeah, "Sebastian/Breakbot" because I want. Don't blame me, there's people who write about "Paul de homem christo/Pedro Winter". It could be worse, aham.<br/>4- I could explain any thing of this fanfic, but all stays in "Bye for you guys" "Where are you going, bro?" "Doesn't matter, bye for you guys :')"</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. You start at the end and you end on your own

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, this is nothing more than tv shows and movies that I watch. I put some "Born to kill?" in here and other things. 
> 
> 1- If I be late to post, that's because I'm working and studying.  
> 2- So sorry for my bad english, I'm brazilian, I could learn english, but I prefer study music at the moment.  
> 3- Yeah, yeah, "Sebastian/Breakbot" because I want. Don't blame me, there's people who write about "Paul de homem christo/Pedro Winter". It could be worse, aham.  
> 4- I could explain any thing of this fanfic, but all stays in "Bye for you guys" "Where are you going, bro?" "Doesn't matter, bye for you guys :')"

Were 06:00 pm and his Brown eyes were glued at the traffic lights. He felt cold, but didn't wear the black jacket that was characteristic. Cigarette smoke was hurting his throat, but he also didn't mind, after all... Someday everybody will die one way or another. Sitting on the pavement, talking with the bottle of Vodka. Sometimes trying to speak in other languages, but he always quit when heard his own accent. A bus passed in front of him and he thought maybe he could get out there and go to another place, but he knew that if he did that would feel the same way. The phone rang, but he also gave no importance. He was lost in his own thoughts. Random thoughts like " _Who was the son of a bitch who sold my pool table?_ " or even " _I wonder where did that boy that studied with me?_ ", his mind went from 0 to 100 as a Ferrari and he simply didn't know how to control. The phone rang again, but this time he didn't answer because he didn't hear. A group of people passing on the street during the time the lamppost was closed. Those clothes, hair, those weapons, those boys. He took the bottle was next and took a drag in the liquid which also made sure to hurt his throat. He knew it could be like those people, extroverted even without drinking a drop of alcohol, but deep down... Who never drank a drop of alcohol? He liked people, but didn't know how to talk to them, he didn't know how he could convince them of something, didn't know how it could be an extrovert without a drop of alcohol. Alcohol. That thing that hit his body and turned into a motor racing. His friends accounted for among other things, sex, fire, broken things, hands cut off, blood, broken noses and rain of prostitutes. The sex was a way to escape that made him feel sort of like a sinner God. Pedro was constantly worried about what was happening and... Pedro drank too, after all... Who never drank a drop of alcohol? But the difference was remarkable. Is that part of life where there's no more school, no longer has the minimum of innocence and that part where everyone comes in that is something between a bar empty, dark, a life without any prospects and College, the love of a woman or a man, children, family, lunches on Sundays. You can understand. Everyone has their reasons to do something or to become what eventually becomes one day. Games, vices, the sound of bass holding you altogether. You never felt that? Or that feeling that something good will happen and when the day passes... The only good thing that happened was the music you heard, the cigarette you smoked and drink you drank? If you have a job that feeling can be even bigger and better, like you're discounting everything... Discounting everything in yourself.

That was Xavier.

He had that piano and he worked at that bar. He loved doing it, but... Was dissatisfied with himself. He knew that sooner or later that boy was going to come over and fuck his life again. You know... Bullies will be bullies forever. But now he was an adult and wore the irony and sarcasm with mastery. And as a shield. Oriental eyes and with a fire out of the ordinary that seemed ghoulish to the boy. Everything was a gun in his hand: The cigarette, the tennis shoelace, the bottle of vodka. Lived alone and felt alone as all people who live alone. The hatred inside him was also unusual, only knew to be gentle with his friends. Kept many bad memories about various moments of his life, as when he fell in love with that boy. At that moment he knew how much he loved the pain. The pain excited him.

That was Xavier.

\---

Thin fingers controlling a mixer. The hip pressing a few buttons. Lights. Showtime. The door opened, the name in the list, the girls in short skirts. Ferrari stopped on the sidewalk. Always the second star. Vincent. The first star was in charge, was who gave protection and entertainment, was the one who paid the account of all those lights. He played, people paid, danced and he paid the Bills, had a reciprocity: you pay me and I make you dance. It was what he loved to do, but there's a time of life when the art needs to be valued and need to be paid. He thought there was a lot of wrong things in all of this, but the Government collects taxes forever. He was loving, caring, funny, needy, melancholy and thought that all those songs, those happy songs always had a dark background. Disco Inferno, Boogie Wonderland, Power of love. All of them. That was Pedro. Changed the subject when the subject always made him sad. And during those days when Xavier was in jail anyone who touched on the subject was murdered with a " _You want something to drink?_ " or " _I need to talk to the guy at the maintenance _urgent__ ". Pedro was the only person who knew who Xavier really was. Mothers know how are they children.

That was Pedro.

\---

Vincent wasn't dancing as usual. Seemed to be hiding somehow in the midst of the people and that was Pedro advantage: the panoramic view of the dance floor. Vincent looked scared, Pedro thought it strange, because Vincent was never afraid. Of anything. Vincent was like a ghost, couldn't be hurt, he was never afraid, never scared, but now... He was pale and Pedro knew that weren't the lights. He pulled the MC by the arm, Anna, and the girl took his cell phone, dialed some numbers. Upstairs, Pedro could see Vincent contract the musculature, pick up the phone out of his pocket and throw it on the floor, breaking it into a fantastic reflex. Pedro put some songs, let Anna continued to lecture and went down the stairs, plunging in the middle of people, looking for Vincent. The boy was leaning in a corner where the lights weren't enough and constantly beat his head against the wall. Pedro put his hand on the wall and when Vincent realized that the wall now had another configuration, stopped what he was doing and looked at Pedro's eyes. His forehead was bruised and now the boy was shaking as if he had witnessed such an absurd thing for a human being witnessed and he repeated several times "Blood". Pedro got scared and Vincent spent the fingers on his forehead. Pedro never expected the reaction that Vincent had to see his hand covered in blood. The boy started to cry. Sat on the floor and hugged his knees. Pedro left the boy and left the Club to see what had made Vincent stay that way. Nothing. The street was as ever, if it wasn't for one thing. A red dress throwed on the sidewalk. Pedro approached, but he felt he shouldn't have done that. He looked at the cul-de-sac alongside his club and there she was. Even though he didn't know who she was, she was there, stuck in the wall with a kitchen knife buried in her chest. Wide eyes who was killed after a scare. Pedro recognized her. It was Vincent's girlfriend. He felt the urge to vomit. Left front of the alley and rested his back against the wall. When he got back inside the Club not found Vincent, was the oddest sensation that he had previously lived... How could someone dancing Bee Gees when there was a dead woman brutally next. He climbed the stairs running, stumbled upon one of the steps and fell on the floor of the sound booth. Anna helped him up and he couldn't say a Word. Pick up the phone and called the police.

\---

He opened his eyes. He didn't know where he was, had been sleeping on the street. In a few minutes he recognized the place. 110th Street. He felt secure that hour of the morning. Vincent... He didn't know who it was. Stood up, wiped his hands and jeans and walked away down the street.

\---

Pedro was sitting on the couch, staring at nothingness and covered his ears cause of the ticking of the clock. That silence... He couldn't get that image out of his head. Couldn't sleep at night. Anna entered the room with two cups of coffee, one for Pedro and another one for her, the smell was good, but another thought took care of boy's head: "Where was Xavier when Vincent's girlfriend was murdered?". Pedro trusted Xavier, but knew that with the boy's criminal record, the police would, first, looking for him.

\---

The sound of boots hitting the ground stunned children who were in the square. He thought that maybe he should stop wearing those shoes and exchange them for a pair of sneakers, but that was a feature of him, if ever he were thinking changing shoes. It would not be that day. The place was the same. The square, the children, the nightclub next to the alley, but... That police car... In front of Xavier's house. He knew very well.


	2. Where did you go?

Vincent was in shock, he couldn't run, he couldn't walk, he couldn't be stopped. He preferred to get home. On the way he ran into a few people and one of them... One of them he should have recognized, but the shock wouldn't let him. That long hair, more than usual, his longer beard, longer than the usual. Vincent knew he had to get home, only that, and then crossed himself and continued walking.

_\- Vincent!_

Vincent thought he was crazy. Covered his ears and continued walking. The boy stood on the sidewalk next to the car.

\---

The two policemen came out of the House, Xavier let them to the door. He hated the cops, but... With the problems he was having with justice, thought it best not to provoke. Then, he saw... The boy with long hair and boots, left home, getting in front of the door and dented the beer that held in the right hand, threw on the stairs and entered again, slamming the door, without the other could have a right of reply. The boy remained standing on the sidewalk. The place looked the same, but people... Well, were 3 years out. People were different and his head too. He was no longer that the school bully. He decided to insist. Went to the door of Xavier's house and punch it. The boy didn't open. He insisted. Called Xavier by name. One minute later, Xavier opened the door and when he saw the boy with that big beard, tried to close the door, but the other's arm prevented him. Xavier did not give up, punched the boy's face. The boy kept quiet and went into the House. He knew He had to leave Xavier do those things, he just didn't know that... Xavier started to punch him. Nose, stomach, chin, chest and... The boy fell to the ground.

\- _The good and old school bully!_ \- Xavier began to laugh.

\- _Xav..._

\- _Who allowed call me Xav? For you I am Xavier de Rosnay._ \- Xavier crossed his arms - _and to me you are nothing but a piece of shit._

The boy got up and continued standing in front of Xavier.

\- _Xavier de Rosnay... I just went to discover your name after two years_.

\- _Who needs a name when you're punching someone?_

- _I wanted to..._

_\- Who needs a name when you leave someone with the foot into the edge?_

_\- I just..._

_\- Shut the fuck up._

The boy was quiet, didn't know how to say what he wanted to say, Xavier wouldn't let him talk.

_\- I just..._

_\- I said shut up and... I don't even know why I'm talking to you, when in fact I want to see you also with your foot at the edge._

_\- Do you know my name?_

_\- Who needs names when you go to jail?_

_\- Shit..._

_\- Jail... And I won't kill you now because I just got out of there, so... Get out of my house._

The boy, now, kept quiet because he didn't know what to say.

_\- You..._

_\- Me? What, Gaspard?_

_\- Nothing. Are you okay?_

_\- Yes, but it could be better if you had died._

_\- I... I almost..._

_\- You almost died? Why don't you give me this favour? Why didn't you do this favor to Thibaut? Sebastian?_

_\- I don't know..._

_\- Where were you?_

_\- England._

_\- Punched many people there? I bet you do._

_\- Xavier, I..._

_\- Get out of my house._

_\- But..._

_\- But the police just came here, someone killed a woman in the Alley, Vincent's girlfriend._

_\- Vincent's girlfriend?_

_\- Are you surprised? Yes?_ \- Xavier laugh - _They came in my house first. BECAUSE I'M A CRIMINAL FOR THEM. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!_

Gaspard was toward the door, opened it and looked back. Again was hit with another punch.

\---

The bubble burst onto the pale face of Sebastian, he quickly rubbed his cheeks and mouth with his hands. Thibaut laughed low and put a cigarette in his mouth lightning it. Sebastian began humming a song. Thibaut wasn't quite sure if it was London Calling or Venus in furs, but he did not bother with it at that time. A boy with a beard was coming toward them. Gaspard. He lifted the cigarette to his lips and removed it from the mouth with thin fingers. He saw that Gaspard had blood on his face.

\- _You okay?_ \- He asked blowing the smoke while talking.

_\- Thibaut..._

_\- Gaspard..._

Sebastian looked Gaspard and as well as Xavier, used a shield to defend himself.

_\- Oh, look who's paying for the sins..._

_\- Probably I'm going to pay for my sins for the rest of my life._

_\- Nothing more fair... You should be dead now, but... As they say... Life is the worst punishment for sinners._

Gaspard didn't expect a good reception of Sebastian too.

_\- I have no choice..._

-  _Not really, but... I see that someone has already begun the dirty work. So I guess you better get out of my way, before I finish!_

Thibaut interrupted the conversation.

\- _Where have you been? Why you run away?_

\- _I was in London... And I'm gone because... I didn't want to pay for my sins._

Sebastian began to giggle.

- _The school bully ran off because he was scared of the losers? Hm... I expected more from you._

Gaspard began to walk toward the hotel where he was staying.

\- _You okay?_ \- Thibaut asked.

\- _I'm just... Paying for my sins._ \- Gaspard replied while riding and disappeared from sight of the two.


	3. Close to the edge

Xavier was sure someday Gaspard would appear again and... Now he was prepared to end with the boy's life as the boy did to him three years ago. Xavier drank another sip. He didn't need a revolver, all he had to do was drink. A motor racing.

**Flashback**

The skinny boy sitting at the table in the middle of the classroom, drawing something on a sheet of notebook. Oriental eyes seeking the next color pencil and skinny fingers taking ownership of the piece of wood. A shadow in front of him, a punch in his desk. He raised his eyes. It was sad to see what kind of person he'd fall in love normally. The boy spent his fingertip at his face and he felt special somehow. He never felt special. The boy approached, kissed his lips and then pushed him. He didn't know what to think. The boy punched his nose and he fell to the floor along with the chair where he was sitting and then just felt the pain of several punches hit his thin body. The room was empty. The boy arrested with his legs and gave him a slap in the face, laughing like a devil. He knew the boy was in power, then cracked. Let the boy hurt him and at that time he discovered that no matter how much hurt physically he would ask for more, he'd like, but only if the physically hurt. The classroom was soon filled by a bunch of teenagers and he was laughing because the physical pain he felt, sometimes even let out a moan. Then, he saw everyone and everyone was laughing. He got up embarrassed and was shyly out of the classroom. All week the laughter continued, year-round and with time passing and the laughter rising, Xavier was going crazy, trying to explode his head, wanting to kill them all, wanting to kill Gaspard. A while after Gaspard went on to abuse the situation, provoking Xavier even more and in one of the times... Xavier ran through the middle of the street and was hit by a car. Gaspard has found that the situation couldn't get any worse, but... Xavier had that desire to see people dying, suffering, but at that time the boy was afraid of the police. The fear disappeared some time later when he formed his own idea of justice. He would do with his bare hands, because he thought if he told someone no one would believe anything... "Social disease, which makes the population increase even with the sale of condoms. Social disease which causes people to kill other people for no reason... For no reason?" He thought. One of his bad memories.

**End of flashback**

Xavier took the Pack of cigarettes and left home.

\---

The folded arms to protect themselves from the cold. Thibaut was shaking. The skinny and small body was freezing. Two arms are involved him. Sebastian. Some people might see that scene with malice, but... They had to learn to take care of each other so that the world will not swallow them. Thibaut had just 10 minutes to smoke a cigarette and come back into the market. A whistle. Pedro came, and also, with his arms crossed, as if nothing had happened the night before. He'd rather forget the bad things, life was too cruel to him.

\- _Have you seen?_ \- Sebastian asked.

_\- What?_

_\- Gaspard..._

Pedro gasped.

_\- No... Gaspard?_

_\- He appeared... Paying for his sins, you know..._

_\- Why he didn't come to see me?_

_\- I don't know, you're the only friend of him..._

_\- You know what I think about it..._

_\- Oh, Yes, Yes..._

_\- Has anyone seen Xavier?_

_\- Actually..._ \- Thibaut said getting rid of Sebastian - _Yes, I saw him and his face was nothing good._

- _The only person who gets happy when it encounters Gaspard is Pedro._

 _\- And Vincent..._ \- Pedro answered.

\- _Vincent..._ \- Sebastian laughed - _All right, shut up._

\---

The cold was intense, took care of every Xavier's pore. How much colder he felt, the more he liked, he liked the torture, but... Romantically. Discovered in the bar where he worked, the address of the hotel in which Gaspard was. Put a beanie on his head, closed the zipper jacket and entered. Was drunk. Looked at the receptionist.

- _I... I'm looking for a friend of mine... His name is Gaspard._

The receptionist straightened his tie, Xavier raised an eyebrow. " _Show service, child_ ".

_\- Oh yes, what's your name?_

_\- Vincent._

_\- Vincent... Hm..._ \- The receptionist licked his lips - _Wait a minute._

 _\- Wait till an hour if need..._ \- Xavier touched on the counter and bit the corner of his lower lip, looking into receptionist's eyes. He knew he could have anything, when he wanted.

The receptionist picked up the intercom and pressed a button.

_\- Mr Gaspard? Mr Vincent is here._

_\- You don't... You can call me "you"..._ \- Xavier spent one finger over the receptionist's face.

The receptionist turned off the intercom.

_\- Can climb... Room 23._

_\- Merci, monsieur réceptionniste._

The receptionist saw the devil in front of him. He felt a strange sensation. Never been attracted to men, but...

\---

Gaspard heard knocks on the door.

 _\- Is open!_ \- He said putting the cigarette in the ashtray and grabbed the beer that was on the table. Xavier came into the room. Took the beanie off. - _Xav?_ \- Gaspard hoped Vincent.

\- _Surprised? Oh, bummer... It's called "Street Law". Use your friends name in your own benefit and... You've already done so much, right?_ \- Xavier took the beer from Gaspard's hand - _I'll get that._

_\- You okay?_

_\- I Am._

_\- What are you doing here?_

_\- It's cold._

_\- Are you cold? I'm going to get a..._

_\- Fuck it_ \- He drank a sip of beer.

_\- I need to talk to you._

_\- Ok._

_\- I wanted to..._

_\- All right, shut up._ \- Xavier sat.

_\- Shut the fuck up you..._

Xavier put the beer on the table.

_\- What did you say?_

_\- SHUT THE FUCK UP?_

Xavier approached and put his hand on Gaspard's neck.

 _\- I will not shut my mouth..._ \- Xavier shook hands - _You know what I wish? You feel so much pleasure in pain as I feel._ \- He released Gaspard's neck.

_\- What happened to you?_

_\- I don't know, I just..._

Gaspard tried to get closer, but Xavier dodged.

_\- I wanted to apologize for what I did._

_\- I just..._ \- Xavier put a cigarette in his mouth and laughed - _I don't know what I'm doing here. I need to go._

He lit the cigarette and left in direction to the door.

- _Stay..._ \- Gaspard scratched his head.

\- _No... I really need to go..._

_\- But... Come back another day._

_\- I don't know. I might warn you before._

_\- You don't need to warn me... When you get back, don't need to use Vincent's name._

_\- I said... Street law._

Xavier left the room and went down the stairs without a backward glance.


	4. Stuck in the middle with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I'm brazilian, can't speak english correctly AND NOW I'M A LITTLE BIT DRUNK, so pardon for the bad bad bad bad english, soon I'll resolve this. Well... Happy new year for you guys.

He walked a few blocks looking for someone in particular. That lady in red. That Lady of the night. That particular Lady. A car passed alongside him and almost ran him over. He didn't care, he just needed to find that woman... He didn't know her name, nobody knows her name, but she was beautiful. The blond hair well groomed, short red dress and pantyhose and shoe heels. He wanted to take off her shoes and use, first as a weapon, then as... He thought it would look good wearing those shoes, but at the moment all he could think about was finding that woman. And there she was. Leaning on the lamppost, smoking a cigarette. He came over, looked at the bottom of her blue eyes and with the speed of an animal, knocked her down on the floor. The woman screamed, and he advanced on her, covering her mouth. He just wanted the shoes... Just the shoes... He took the girl's feet and left aside. Pulled the girl's dress, ripping it in half and finally... Took the kitchen knife from his pocket and stabbed into the woman's chest, who widened his eyes and then stopped breathing.

-

Thibaut and Sebastian came back into the market. The night shift was a hell. Drunk buying booze, beggars stealing food, husbands buying food for pregnant wives. Sebastian had no patience. Pedro was helping Thibaut with some labels, but Sebastian... He remembered all the times that they were judged by their color, sexual orientation, hair, weight, every time the blood ran from his nose and he didn't know how to defend themselves. Well... Now he knew, was no longer a fragile child. Pedro and Thibaut labeling things and Sebastian organizing the shelves. Xavier entered the hallway, was shot down. Crossed his arms.

\- _You... Hi._ \- He said.

Pedro stopped what he was doing and went to the boy.

_\- Where were you?_

_\- Walking._

_\- Where?_

_\- Pedro, for the fuck sakes._ \- Xavier passed both hands over his face.

_\- Fine... I'll stop._

A silence remained in the hallway, everybody could hear the sound of the four wind banging on food cans.

 _\- Thanks, Xavier_. - Sebastian said.

_\- For what?_

_\- Gaspard..._

Xavier was silent, the same silence as before, only more disturbing. Xavier knew that Sebastian was talking about, but he didn't want to think about that, he just wanted to have killed Gaspard with one slow and painful blow. His mind was constantly affected by those thoughts. He knew that if he wasn't more the college chinese girl, people would respect him. And that's what he did... Pedro just feared he would become in some kind of monster. The sound of boots stomping on the floor. That noise was... But what the hell Gaspard would be doing that time there?

 _\- That jerk again_? - Sebastian asked - _I am loving working here and I'm still going to have to see his face. AGAIN?_

Xavier continued in silence. Pedro was looking for Gaspard. The boy was in the hallway of the drinks and filled a cart with various and several bottles. Pedro came to him.

_\- GASPIRATOR!_

From the other corridor they could hear Sebastian express his anger in Ruffles bags.

_\- Pedro..._

_\- What happened to your face?_

_\- Not a big deal, I'm just paying for my sins._

_\- Will drink it all alone?_

Gaspard shook his head.

_\- If you had seen what I saw now..._

_\- What you... Gaspard..._

_\- They killed another woman. I confess that I went after Xavier when he left my apartment, but he ran out and I went back and I saw that woman dead. Normally I wouldn't be scary, but... If you aren't innocent then you must to fear everything._

Pedro remembered Vincent's girlfriend dead alongside his club.

_\- Another?_

_\- Another..._

Pedro walked off to the other corridor. Gaspard followed him, he knew he could leave the drinks there and then return without having been without it. Pedro looked at Xavier and Gaspard was surprised to see the boy there, standing in silence. Suddenly, everyone started looking at Xavier and the silence is gone.

_\- Why are you looking at me?_

_\- Where were you, Xavier?_

_\- I already said... Walking..._ \- Xavier stopped to think for a moment, and deduced that Pedro thought he had killed those two girls - _What?_ \- He started laughing - _Do you think that I..._ \- He stopped, knew it wasn't worth his time to continue - _You know... Things like that make me lose my faith in you._ \- He put the cigarette in his mouth and walked away.

 _\- Xavier, get back here! I haven't finished!_ \- Pedro cried, just like a mother would do.

Xavier turned around facing the other four and continued walking backwards.

 _\- This just... It's not worth it._ \- He raised his arms and continued walking.

Thibaut hit Gaspard's shoulder.

_\- Goes after him, I'll talk to both here._

Gaspard walked away after Xavier.


	5. I hope that no one ever leaves 'cause I don't wanna be alone with me.

Xavier sat down behind the market. Empty Street, cold wind, he could think about everything without feeling anger. The time he spent in jail made him stand so cold with life, with people, maybe Pedro was right in thinking that, but Xavier knew it wasn't true, despite the wish never miss. He allowed more crying, anyone could try to hurt him except Pedro. And then Xavier collapsed, how Pedro could think that? The strong and brave Xavier collapsed in a needy and sad child. Long time since he felt weak that way. Wanted to stop crying, but couldn't. And... Which was the need for Gaspard go after him? The boy stopped standing in front of him and he quickly stood up and walked away. Gaspard was behind.

 _\- Can I ask you a question_? - Xavier asked.

_\- Yes._

_\- Why don't you leave me alone?_

_\- Because I don't want to leave you alone._

Xavier stopped moving, crouched and supported his hands on his knees.

_\- Seriously... Just get out of my life._

_\- I just wanted to... Talk with you._

_\- Talk about what? About how it was nice when I almost died? I really should have died._

Gaspard approached, but Xavier dodged as a scared animal.

_\- No, I want to talk about how I could have done everything differently._

_\- I could also have done everything differently,_ \- Xavier paused and began to giggle while he wept - _now you... Look at me, what am I? A criminal..._ \- Continued laughing and crying at the same time and then got serious - _My friends don't believe in me and I'm talking to the only person I didn't want to talk in my entire life... End of career..._

_\- Let me try to explain._

_\- Explain what? There's nothing to explain._

_\- Explain why I did all that... Let me just..._

_\- You did it because you're a crazy, insane. And well..._ \- Xavier laughed again - _I am also now, I feel like they made a brainwash me. Thank You, Gaspard! Thanks a lot!_ \- He cheered while he wept and laughed.

_\- I did it because... Yes... I was insane, crazy... Crazy about you._

Xavier looked into Gaspard's eyes, a demon out of it and walked through the parking lot. He laughed again.

_\- Fuck you... This is ridiculous. You are ridiculous._

_\- I'm seriously._

_\- Seriously? Cool, good for you, you know when I stopped believing in all of this?_

_\- Xavier..._

_\- I hate you._

_\- I know._

_\- The only thing I wanted was that you to stop, but you didn't stop._

_\- I know this._

_\- Go to hell..._

Xavier started walking, but Gaspard was behind.

_\- Thibaut told me to come with you._

_\- You're funny..._

_\- I love you._

_\- Fuck you._

Gaspard took Xavier by the arm and looked into his eyes.

_\- I hit you, I cursed you, I made your life a living hell, because I didn't know how to do it any other way. I wanted to be close, I wanted to hear your voice, I wanted to... I wanted you to look at me, but who would look at me? You? You're so clever, so beautiful... You didn't know how to deal with who you were and still are._

Xavier started crying again.

_\- Let me go._

_\- You can't deal with people who love you, you don't know how to handle it and I don't blame you, because I didn't know either._

_\- Let me go._

_\- You don't know how to handle it..._ \- Gaspard spent one of his fingers by Xavier's face and the boy cried even more - _I just came back to apologize and try to get all this... And..._

 _\- Back to hell from whence you came._ \- Xavier bit his lip hard and lowered his head.

- _No... I don't want to live in hell._

_\- Then let me out there._

_\- No._

_\- Why?_ \- Xavier looked to Gaspard - _Have you seen just... None of it is worth, I'm not worth it. Just leave me alone_.

- _I'm not giving up on you, no. Now I know how to handle that, I can handle what I did. And if you thought at some point I got scared when you decided to beat me up... No, I was kind of expecting it, I was kind of expecting everything that Sebastian told me, I expected all this. I never had friends, Xavier, I put fear in people, I beat who could be my friend because I never knew what else to do, being rejected by you? I would do a whole lot worse if that happened and the probability of you rejecting me was greater than the probability of I go and talk to you about, I dunno, how the day was beautiful, I never stopped to pay attention to anything, I'd rather look at you, but you looked at me and went running, I had to make you stay somehow and I chose the wrong way._

 _\- Why? I would never reject you..._ \- Xavier began to laugh again - _I loved it when you beat me... I felt horny at, you could kill me and I would die moaning not of pain, but of pleasure. You see... I'm not worth it. Now let me go._

Gaspard started crying and pulled Xavier, hugging him.

_\- I won't let you go, not this time._

_\- I didn't... You did._ \- Xavier tried to fend off Gaspard.

- _I'm not going to go away._

_\- I don't believe you. I don't believe in one word that comes out of your mouth._

_\- I know... But that's okay, because I know I'm telling the truth._

_\- What does it matter? Fuck your love, fuck your truth, fuck it..._  - Xavier pushed Gaspard - _Has another dead woman and they don't believe me._

_\- I believe in you, Xavier._

_\- You're not my friend._

-

Vincent looked at his watch. He thought that the next day the police would interrogate everyone. Xavier would be the first, Pedro the second, and he the third. He was tired, but couldn't sleep and needed good news. He turned on the television. Good news? Another dead woman? He unplugged the TV and threw the control away, then cower on the couch.

-

Sebastian was facing Thibaut with fire in his eyes. He didn't want to accept that the other had sent Gaspard go after Xavier. And safety, where it was? And Sebastian knew, one day or another, Xavier would stop behaving that way and would give, would believe Gaspard, would betray everyone, Sebastian knew.

Thibaut knew even Gaspard having done everything that he done, didn't deserve to be treated that way. Thibaut was the neutral element of the whole thing, a kind of divinity peacekeeper.

Pedro knew that he had been tough on Xavier and in his heart he knew it wasn't him that was killing those people, but Pedro acted like an overprotective mother and hard on his children's education. Pedro didn't want Xavier came back to jail, remember always that day when the police knocked on his door and took Xavier in the car, claiming the boy had killed a man who was at the gas station. "That kid stole me and think it's going to be okay? I just went to get what was mine back ... The body of the motherfucker with my money made powder spread over there" Xavier told Pedro in one of the visits day.

-

\- _I'm not, but I always wanted to be your friend. - Said Gaspard lighting a cigarette._


	6. Mama, just killed a man

Spilled a little coffee in hist mug, sat in the chair and passed both hands over his face, rubbing it compulsively. He remembered the night before, for years didn't feel so weak, for years felt no urge to kill anyone, but well... That night felt like revenge into his own hands, but he knew that if he did that, he'll go back to jail.

**Flashback**

Xavier left Pedro's house towards the bar to buy cigarettes and then immediately go to his house. Pedro had that feeling that something would go wrong, tried to get Xavier get in every possible way, but failed miserably. The boy gave ten steps and a man stopped in front of him with a gun in his hand and held out the other.

_\- Give Me all the money you got there._

_\- What did you say?_ \- Xavier raised his eyebrow.

_\- The money! Give me! Now!_

_\- What did you say?_

_\- THE FUCKING MONEY!_ \- The man put the gun in Xavier's belly.

 _\- Uuuuuhhhh..._ \- Xavier smiled, he wasn't afraid of death.

_\- Let me be clear, let me borrow all this money you have in your pocket and I'll be good to you._

Xavier looked at the man's face that didn't even bother to cover it with a shower cap, stuck his hand in his pocket, took the money and put in the man's hand. 150 euros more precisely.

At the night Xavier rode on his motorcycle and went out with it down the street, he knew that man from somewhere... Then went to the gas station. Xavier got off the motorcycle and took off his helmet. The rain washed his black hair while he put his hand inside his jacket. He took the bangs from his eyes and looked at the man who was on his back. - Hey! - Xavier said. At that time the world stopped for the man. He felt his breath stop along.

 _\- You scared me!_ \- The man laughed and relaxed - _Are you ok?_

Xavier smiled.

 _\- Yeah... I just came... Charge my money... With the fucking bank interest._ \- Xavier lifted the revolver.

The man started to shake. At the moment several things went through his head, including that he needed to have another approach in time for a robbery, "borrow me your money?", he wondered, "I am a shithead..."

_\- I'll buy you everything, man. Put that gun down and we can talk..._

_\- I don't want to talk to you, I have the walls of my house for that purpose._

_"Borrow me your money? How I'm stupid..."_

_\- Ok, so we didn't talk, but put that gun down..._

_\- Can I borrow your life and everything is right..._

Xavier pulled the trigger.

Cold.

Without any feels.

Kept the revolver, climbed on the motorcycle and went home.

**End of flashback.**

The phone rang, but he didn't listen. Rang again. His hands were from his face to his knees. He sighed and picked up the phone.

 _\- Xavier..._ \- It was Pedro - _Xavier... Answer... I need to talk to you_.

_\- Going to report me for something I didn't do just because I killed a man?_

_\- Of course not... Let me talk to you..._

Xavier hung up the phone.

-

Pedro felt a weight drop on his shoulders, he wanted to ask someone to go to Xavier's house to see how he was doing, if he needed anything, if he was eating, sleeping well, but knew that anyone who was there would be kicked out. He heard the doorbell ring. And then the door open. Was Vincent. The boy removed his glasses and put it on his head like a princess crown.

_\- Great Pedro..._

Pedro straightened his hair behind his ear and crossed his arms.

_\- Kavo..._

_\- What dark circles are those?_

Pedro knew if he answered that he was worried about Xavier, Vincent would call him Nanny McPhee or Mary Poppins, or anything like that, so...

_\- I didn't sleep this night. Did you see Gaspard around?_

_\- Nah! But I wish I had seen... I miss him._

_\- I wish I had seen him too... I wish I had seen him before..._

_\- He take a few punches of Xav?_

_\- Hell..._

_\- That's what I'm talking about... I've receive my punches... Why can't he receive his punches? Fuck..._

_\- Of what hole do you came from?_

_\- Père-Lachaise, mon ami._

_\- Hell..._

_\- That's what I'm talking about..._


	7. I see a little silhouette of a man

Xavier took his cigarette, the lighter and left home. Around the corner he sat down on the sidewalk and stood there looking at the street. Thought about several things, from why people are so selfish (including himself), being so sad, lonely and continue answering everything and everyone with a smile on their face. Thought of street children, in pain, in jail, in solitude, in truth, in lie, the feelings that involve people, those dead women, in Pedro and his mistrust, Pedro was the only person who could hurt him now, was the only person who could make him cry and at that moment he felt like crying, felt like he wanted to escape, he wanted to be arrested again just to stay away from that situation. For years he waited Gaspard back. He wasn't so sure if he should punish people or if he should continue, he had his piano, what could be wrong? Yes, he knew. The fact that Pedro doubt him bothered him more than the fact that Gaspard come back. He thought that maybe he should go after Pedro and invent any alibi to at least have his trust again. "What Curtis Mayfield do?", the answer was obvious and came seconds after clearly in his head "fuck", but ... "What Stevie Wonder do?", another clear answer "Pedro, I'm sorry, but you are wrong... I wrote a song for you...". Xavier hated to lose these nonsense thoughts, all mixed together, the next word after "mixed" would be "cake". He felt hungry, but the horn of the cars feed him. Was lost again in pointless thoughts... John Linley Frazier went through his head at that moment and he remembered when he killed that man. "Why I'm the only one who can feel pain?".

_-Xavier..._

_"Why?"_

_\- Xavier..._

He heard the sound of fingers click.

_"Why?"_

_\- Xavier, you okay?_

He put the cigarette in his mouth, sometimes heard people talking and he couldn't associate the voices.

_\- Xav..._

A hand on his shoulder. Xavier looked to the side and Gaspard was there... Calling him a few minutes ago.

_\- Hi._

Gaspard has always had a feeling that was not welcome, but...

_\- What are you doing here?_   
_\- Thinking about those things._   
_\- What things?_   
_\- Did you ever stop to think that we're nothing close to that?_

Gaspard raised an eyebrow.

 _\- What do you mean?_  
 _\- Nobody is nothing close to that..._ \- Xavier pointed the street.

Gaspard understood.

 _\- I've really thought about it, yes..._ \- And smiled, Xavier was not aloof from that time, he felt he could talk quietly with the boy.  
 _\- It's sad, but at the same time it is good to think about it._  
 _\- I Agree... In the end... This continues and no one else..._  
 _\- No one else continues._  
 _\- Yeah..._  
 _\- I wish when I was away from here_ \- Xavier pointed out the floor - _to there_ \- punched the ground - _I was remembered for something good that I did, but I've never done anything to be proud of for anyone._  
 _\- Me neither, but... You can still do._  
 _\- I Can._ \- Xavier smiled.  
 _\- And I hope I also can..._  
 _\- You Really never did anything good._  
 _\- I did, but the only good thing that I did was bad._

Xavier laughed. Gaspard miss that, It was the only thing that was left of old Xavier. Gaspard scratched his head shyly.

 _\- Sometimes bad things are cool._ \- Xavier said and threw his cigarette on the asphalt.  
 _\- Yes..._  
 _\- I missed you._

Gaspard certainly didn't expect that, spent days sitting in a station bench listening to music and thinking about coming back, expect anything but that...

_\- I missed you too._

Xavier took the pack of cigarettes, took one and extended to Gaspard.

 _\- Thanks..._ \- He took the cigarette.  
 _\- Why did you leave?_  
 _\- Because..._ \- He put the cigarette in his mouth and lit it, swallowed the smoke slowly and loosened it quickly - _Because I didn't want to face you and..._ \- Gaspard saw a person with a dark hood walking quickly down the street away from cars, seemed lost, and ran in heels, had an object in his hand, Gaspard was unable to identify.

Xavier looked to Gaspard and saw what he was looking for a third person. Xavier started noticing that person too and knew that this person wasn't there stupidly. And the person turned around. She was a woman, or at least seemed to be, Xavier stretched the body trying to see the person's face. He was a man, blond, tall, didn't need heels shoes to look tall, but wore in the same way and... Xavier knew that man. Paris is not a small town, but the underworld was and Xavier knew this universe. Xavier looked at the boy's hand and saw an object.

 _\- But..._ \- He said.

Gaspard looked at Xavier and the boy was red in anger.

_\- Xav..._

Xavier didn't hear.

 _\- Son of a bitch!_ \- Xavier said and stood up.   
_\- Xav..._

Gaspard called him again, but the other didn't answer. Gaspard had the feeling that Xavier was going behind the boy and start a fight or an argument, but at that moment the boy jump and blond hair was gone from their views. Xavier put his hands in his pocket.

 _\- Hi..._ \- Xavier answered and still red.  
 _\- You know that woman?_  
 _\- Leave Me alone..._ \- And walked away.

Gaspard was behind. Moments like that were rare, even not knowing how Xavier would react, he decided to take a chance.

 _\- Forget it, Xavier and..._  
 _\- You don't understand. You don't underst..._ \- Xavier thought for a moment and decided to forget it - _Ok, let her go._  
 _\- Do you want to drink?_  
 _\- Yes..._


	8. I'll carry you home tonight

Sebastian wasn't talking with Thibaut. Every time Thibaut tried to get closer, Sebastian turned to mark a product. Thibaut just didn't understand why being so radical, but he also knew that Sebastian had his reasons. Thibaut touched Sebastian's shoulders and the boy dodged.

_\- Seb..._

_\- Why do you do these things?_

_\- Seb, you know you're overreacting, yes?_

_\- Overreacting?_ \- Sebastian thought to start a discussion, but he knew he were overreacting, he knew that it wouldn't take anyone anywhere - _Forget it..._

Thibaut approached, grabbed Sebastian's hand and cuddle it with his fingers.

_\- I never worried with Xavier because I know that I don't need._

_\- Yes, you need, and you know what I'm talking about..._

_\- Forget him, my god..._

_\- But..._

_\- Forget him..._

Thibaut approached and kissed Sebastian's lips.

 _\- Ok..._ \- Sebastian replied and smiled.

_\- Let's go, Yes?_

_\- I haven't finished it._

_\- Yes, you finished it._

_\- No._

_\- Yes..._ \- Thibaut pulled Sebastian by the arm - _Do you know what we need? Drink_.

Sebastian placed the milk bottles on the shelf, took off his apron and both came out.

It was open bar night. Pedro did it once a week, after all. Then it was day of full House. Pedro used to be glum in these days, he thought people wouldn't go for the music, just for the drink, but... He went up to his cabin and Anna was picking some albums. Was 11:00 pm. The tradition was always play first anything from 70's, ended up getting a little bit theme, but people liked. Then the girl took the cover Off the wall and put into play. Track number one. Pedro began to cheer. He looked at the dance floor and Xavier had come in. Along with Gaspard. Pedro has raised an eyebrow, Anna raised her shoulders, put the next album on the table and looked at the cover: Hues Corporation. The girl smiled. Sebastian and Thibaut entered soon after and went to the bar, Xavier was there and Sebastian saw that Gaspard was with him... The white boy turned his back and walked out to the middle of the people but saw that Vincent was in his direction, raised his arms as if he say "Ok, I'll get out of this place" and walked back to the bar, he felt surrounded, he figured he needed to close his fists and start a fight. Xavier shook his head and asked for a beer. The waiter looked at him and put the open bottle on the counter, but Xavier had already seen the waiter before he be there, Xavier closed his eyes and could only imagine the waiter running down the street with heels and a black hood that covered his entire body. Jackson, was his name. Xavier wondered where that boy kept the knife and how did him manage to look so clean in less than 15 minutes. Xavier knew that blood wasn't an easy thing to get cleaned up, but he could have been mistaken, so... Took the beer and drank a sip.

_\- GASPIRATOR!_

_\- Vincent..._ \- Gaspard replied.

 _\- Fight club... All right, all right..._ \- Sebastian commented.

 _\- Uh, and he began... Sebastian, you don't need this, dude..._ \- Vincent Said.

Sebastian walked away and Vincent went after. Thibaut looked the scene and lifted his hand to Jackson give him a beer.

 _\- AND NOW I'M THE ONE WHO BEGAN..._ \- He cried.

Gaspard stood there watching the whole thing and thought a lot of things at the moment.

 _\- Pull yourself together, Breakybreaky._ \- Xavier said - _Just drink..._

Everybody could heard a sound and then a group of people trying to break up a fight. Only sebastian was beating, Vincent only kept quiet.

 _\- That's what I'm talking about, Gaspirator!_ \- Vincent said to Gaspard while disappeared in the midst of the people.

Gaspard saw that Sebastian came back to the bar. The boy sat next to Thibaut and Thibaut only looked at the bottle. Gaspard felt like asking what was happening, but didn't want to take a punch of Sebastian, so kept quiet... Sebastian knew that Thibaut was angry and knew that anywhere that Thibaut was, he would have to be too. Sebastian just didn't know if Thibaut's anger was from him or Vincent or the situation and he didn't know if Thibaut wanted his company at that moment.

 _\- Tense atmosphere, huh?_ \- Jackson asked.

Gaspard just shook his head. Thibaut got up and walked out to the middle of the people and Sebastian put both hands in his head. Gaspard really wanted to know what was happening, but despite not ask he deduced some things. "Sebastian hates Vincent, but isn't that what Vincent wants, Thibaut loves Sebastian, but Sebastian doesn't know how to do things right and Xavier... Well..."

 _\- Fuck off..._ \- Xavier stood up and went to the middle of the people dancing.

Gaspard merely look. Felt old, felt nostalgic, felt weird, he knew when to solve appear everything would be different, but surely he didn't think the size of the difference. Never noticed that Xavier now had tattoos for every inch of his arm, or that Sebastian perhaps hadn't changed that much, or that... Thibaut now was drinking a lot, even if it was in a completely different city, with the houses changing color every two days, people dying... People dying. Gaspard spent watching Xavier and remembered that dead woman, getting lost entirely in his own thoughts, in own trials, he thought that judgments are not always bad, thought that everyone who is innocent was judged innocent and Xavier at the time was being judged guilty. Thought crazy things like decrease the waiter's height in 15 cm and... Gaspard looked at the waiter and had a bad feeling.

 _\- It wasn't what you expected..._ \- Sebastian said in a low voice, Gaspard looked to the side and continued in silence - _Sometimes I blame you and Vincent by the behavior of people, including me. But... What happened? What do you expect to find, Gaspard? A bunch of depressed people reading Rimbaud in school garden?_

_\- No, but tells me... Are you happy?_

_\- No, I work in a market and the person I love is mad at me._

_\- Cause he thinks you love Vincent?_

_\- Yeah... And I hate him._

_\- Do you really hate?_

_\- I dunno... I just don't love..._

_\- And do you really think that Thibaut thinks this about you?_

_\- I don't know what he thinks..._

Xavier had danced one song and was tired, he thought he needed to quit smoking and went to the bar, threw the blouse on the counter and looked at Sebastian.

_\- Jesus wants to speak with you..._

Gaspard laughed low and Xavier turned to him, raising his eyebrow, making the other swallow laughter, disguise and drinking a sip of beer. Then both laugh low.

_\- Fuck you, China girl..._

_\- UHHHH..._ \- Xavier lifted his arms.

Sebastian got up and went after Thibaut.

 _\- You okay?_ \- Gaspard asked.

 _\- Yes... Just..._ \- Called the waiter with his hand and asked for a shot of vodka straight up.

_\- I liked the tattoos._

_\- Thanks..._ \- Xavier kept staring at his own arms.

_"Give me a second I, I need to get my story straight, my friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the empire state. My lover he's waiting for me just across the bar. My seat has been taken by some sunglasses asking about a scar and I know I gave it to you months ago, I know you're trying to forget, but between the drinks and subtle things, the holes in my apologies, you know, I'm trying hard to take it back."_

Thibaut was outside and Sebastian didn't take long to find it. Thibaut could smell.

 _\- Aren't you cold?_ \- Sebastian asked.

_\- A lil' bit, but... I can take it._

_\- Want to talk to me?_

_\- Yes... Just..._ \- Thibaut drank a sip of his beer - _Do you really like me?_

_\- I love you._

_\- And Vincent?_

_\- Dead..._

_\- Do you assume me for the people?_

_\- Sure... But..._

_\- But you don't want to? Alright... I'll forget... And we'll be fine._

Thibaut knew how to handle losses, knew how to handle situations like this, he knew how to handle his own personality and he wouldn't change it, nor for Sebastian, or Chris, or anyone else. He was always alone since there was some certainty of life and at that point he didn't have. He knew that Sebastian and Vincent's story and certainly didn't want to be a part of it, as much as the danger of that story were attractive.

_\- Listen... I want to... Just that you have to understand that I can't do anything right. I never did, I almost killed you once and you remember that, I don't know how to control myself..._

_\- Of course you don't know... And of course if you choose to take me to the people the following week would fly away on the other's car..._

_\- Wait! I'm not like this... I just have... Anger. Would never trade you for that... That person..._

_\- You know, I like you... And even when you almost killed me I continued loving you, if that's not love, then I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about it._

_"So if by the time the bar closes and you feel like falling down, I'll carry you home tonight"_

Sebastian knew it was strange for him, but he also knew he had to do something to stay in peace and Thibaut was the right person for it, he wouldn't trade it for any danger, he wanted to make cake and popcorn and be with Thibaut watching Blaxploitation movies, this is what he wanted. He approached and embraced Thibaut.

_\- Forget it. Let's go home._

_\- Yours or mine?_

Sebastian laughed.

_\- Whatever..._


	9. Jack on the moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to thank to Cherry, because... Bebêrland it's fucking good in english :') 
> 
> Thank you so much, bot. <3

Waiter? Yes, perhaps to fill the time and also make some money. He wanted much more than money. Wanted to be a person whom he wasn’t, he was not born like he wanted, he was a man, in his head was a man, but… His cruelty was feminine. He began stealing products like makeup and bags and in a failed attempt of stealing, he made a hostage. It was there that he met Xavier, but… Everything is different in jail, he didn’t understand why Xavier didn’t say anything to anybody when he saw him at the bar… Maybe it was some sort of jail command or Xavier was waiting for the right moment to tell everything that he knew and… In this case, he would need to be prepared. The homosexuals chain cells normally became a kind of whorehouse, but Xavier’s chain cell didn’t… He wondered why but then remembered that Xavier was protected by some mobsters who were there, so this question already had an answer. He was standing in a corner, wiping nicotine dirt from his hands in prison uniform, thinking of when he got out of there, he thought about escaping in a ship or anything like that, just cause there, he was alone. It was the longest year of his life and he knew that the year had been long for Xavier too and also usually thought Xavier was braver, he had only made one person hostage and was indicted for attempt of murder, but Xavier didn’t… Xavier went to the gas station and did what he thought he should do, without a plan, without anything. Then he began to plan the things he thought he needed to do. To the very beginning, he wanted a red dress and red nail polish and… To grow 15 centimeters with a high-heeled shoe. And he wanted a knife. He hated women simply because he wasn’t one. And he had references… Jack the ripper for example, Ted Bundy…

_\- Don’t I know you?_

Jackson looked at Xavier and noticed that no one was around and maybe Xavier hadn’t spoken in front of people because he had his reasons.

_\- Do you know me?_

_\- I’m not sure… I think I do…_ \- Xavier was already drunk - _But who cares, right?_ \- He laughed.

 _\- Yeah… Who cares?_ \- Jackson spent a cloth on the counter wet with beer.

_\- But didn’t you want to go to the USA?_

Xavier remembered him.

_\- Yes… But until now, it haven’t happened._

_\- Then I know you…_

At that moment, a man whom neither Xavier nor Jackson knew, sat next to Xavier. He was black, beautiful and fragrant, Drakkar Noir maybe. Xavier looked at him and got the feeling that he had seen that man and the man also knew Xavier like a father knows a problematic son. Xavier raised a eyebrow.

_\- Do I know you?_

_\- No, but nice to meet you. My name is René._

_\- René…_ \- Xavier said with sleepy eyes and arms lying on the counter _\- I don’t know any René. But… Nice to meet you, René…_ \- Xavier tried to raise his hand to greet the man, but he could barely stay seated - _My name is X-x-xavier…_

_\- Nice to meet you, Xavier…_

Gaspard returned holding a blouse in his hands and touched Xavier’s back.

_\- Pedro told me to take you home._

_\- And do I get some punches?_ \- Xavier asked and then laughed - _Just kidding…_

Gaspard was quiet and saw that the black man looked at him. Gaspard knew who he was, but didn’t say anything. The truth is that the man knew the three of them, knew Sebastian and Thibaut and also Thibaut’s father. That man knew all the bad things of that city and also knew the underworld of that place like the palm of his hand. That man has never been in jail, but was down to the police station frequently. That man knew everything and could pass in the middle of people without drawing attention, he could walk into a place where drug dealers manufactured drugs and nobody would know who he was. And that was the intention. The man waved to Gaspard while the boy tried to pick Xavier up to his feet.

 _\- All you get is loneeeeeeeely_ \- Xavier started to sing.

- _Turn your love around, ok, ok, you’re drunk._ \- The man said - _Do you want some help?_

 _\- Yes, please…_ \- Gaspard said.

The man got up, put one of Xavier’s arms over his shoulder and helped Gaspard get to the cab.

 _\- Be safe, Xavier de Rosnay._ \- The man blinked and Xavier put his face out of the window while the cabbie put his foot on the gas, Xavier raised an eyebrow and stayed with that expression, which indicates that he wanted to say something, but he started to stutter before it could be finished. Gaspard pulled him back into the cab.

Going back into the Club, the black man looked at Pedro. Anna put her hand on her forehead.

 _\- No, not now, Pedro._ \- The girl said and Pedro was heading towards the bar - _Fuck!_

 _\- Are you the owner of this place?_ \- The man asked.

_\- Yes… And who are you?_

_\- René…_ \- The man raised his hand.

 _\- Pedro._ \- Pedro shook the man’s hand.

Jackson took off the apron.

 _\- Can I go?_ \- He asked.

_\- Yes, you can, Jack. Thank you, good night._

René watched Jackson as he left. Noticed all the details and thought, in terms of proportion, how the boy would be 15 inches taller. Created a mind map with all the characteristics of that blond boy. Pedro looked at him and thought that the way he looked at Jackson was strange but also thought _“no, you’re not going to flirt with him…”_.

 _\- This boy…_ How long has he been working here?

_\- For about a week, he’s good… I’ll give him a pay raise soon._

_\- Does he live near here? Does he has another job?_

Pedro frowned.

_\- What the …_

_\- It is a subject of extreme urgency… Does he has another job?_

_\- I don’t know._

_\- Does he use drugs?_

_\- Probably, but why?_

_\- I can’t say, but believe me, you should be as interested in this as I am. He’s the one who pays us, not the other way around._

_\- Why did you say “pays us”?_

René laughed and lit a cigarette.

_\- Because if it wasn’t for the waiters where would we drink to relax to be able to work better, right?_

Pedro was quiet cause he realized that it made sense.


	10. Across the 110th street

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you babybot ♥

History always had lots of interesting and important characters -most part of the time, interesting, only-. Danger, risk… Maybe always on the same scenery, on the same place, on the same city, because whenever there’s an protagonist there’s an coadjuvant. If at some moment the protagonist was Charles Manson, the coadjuvant was John Linley Frazier. If at another moment the star of the show was Ray Charles, at the same time Quincy Jones could be the coadjuvant, etc, etc… On that moment there was no star… There was nothing, not even a coadjuvant… Just the scenery, and this scenery was the 110th street. You can compare this scenery to any movie set from Valley Of The Dolls, including the stages and those scenic objects from any play: Drugs, fake lashes, sparkling dresses, imaginary red carpets, needles, stray cats churning cans, pools of water, urine, blood; prostitution, anti-heroes, brightly colored and bleached hair, broken hearts, alcohol, cause you know… A pill can make you immune to danger and emptiness… A pill can help you make friends, go on the stage and make the crowd pay you, when this payment comes, half of it goes to your bills, the other half goes to more pills, and life goes on.

Now, this is the 110th street. A blue sign nailed to a brick wall. Leaned on that wall there’s a 27 year old woman, ginger, she has freckles all over her pores, wearing a red dress and an black heels, buckles hold her ankles, her white legs turn red from the lights of a neon sign across the street and she hears moans and sax, a beautiful vibrato that only black people can reach, people from church, people of God… God? She stumps her foot on the wet ground and hears something moving in the bushes behind the wall, she thinks of running but she wants to be the protagonist of the night, make the moans hush, make the sax play just for her, make the vibrato sound for her… But the other one was late and she needed to be, besides being the protagonist, pass him the goods. She hears a distant cough as the lamp lights light the white face of a man that doesn’t even care about being discreet, he smiles, she smiles back. He wasn’t the one she was waiting for and she thought it was odd but it was okay cause she was the protagonist that night… The man came closer to the ginger lady and stared at her shoes.

_\- Nice shoes…_

The lady smiled and thanked.

_\- My boyfriend bought them for me._

The man came even closer and the lady couldn’t hear the moans anymore, nor the sax or the vibrato, she could only hear the other person’s amended breathing.

 _- You know, I’ve never had shoes like these…_ \- The man put one of his hands on his pocket.

_- What did you say?_

The man pulled a rag out of it, took the chance of putting it on her mouth while she was smiling. Her instinct made her tried to run, he didn’t let her. He held her arms and tied them.

 _\- You also have beautiful breasts…_ \- He said while slipping a knife on her rosy white skin, she groaned as she was trying to say something or scream, the man chuckled and smiled _\- I’ve also never had breasts like these… What a pity…_ \- She then kicked in between his legs while he kept the smile on _\- You know, in all these years… You… Want to kick me in the balls… In all these years this was the funniest thing that I’ve seen… But it’s okay, I’ll explain to you, I got them cut off, and THAT hurt… Now… It was a pleasure to meet you…_ -The man kissed her face and then started a small cut over her chest, then increased it more and more. She fell over, feeling sick and weak until finally passing out, he felt that that was the time for him to leave the stage for the girl who was no longer the protagonist, well maybe in underworld’s heaven _\- If it exists…_ \- He said and took off her dress and shoes to throw them away in a near trash can - _Linda Healy’s going to like your hair, girl…_ \- The man walked back to where he initially came from.  

\--

Xavier opened his eyes, he has had nightmares, contracted his eyelids and felt his head grow the size of a zeppelin. He looked on his side and saw an unknown lamp, looked to the window and it was already daytime, looked to his other side and there was Gaspard, sleeping. His eyes widened.

 _- Shit…_ \- On that moment he heard sirens on the street… as always. His phone rang, Xavier put his hands inside his blanket and noticed that he had no pants on. _“Where are my goddamn pants at?”_. He noticed then in a near chair and got up quietly to get them back, Gaspard turned himself on the bed and Xavier picked up the phone quickly. Unknown number, He answered the call.

_\- Who is it?_

_\- René…_

_\- Who?_ \- Xavier only needed to think for a moment to remember the past night at Pedro’s bar - _Oh, right, what is it?_

_\- I need your help._

_\- What? What for?_

_\- Can you meet me at the 110th?_

He thought about it and even not minding about the illegal stuff that happens at the 110th street, he didn’t like going there… He hated the smell. Xavier rolled his eyes.

_\- Why does it has to be there?_

_\- Because i’m already here and I must confess that I had everything under control until yesterday but now I don’t really know what to do…_

_\- I’m asexual._ \- Said Xavier on a attempt of not going to that street.

_\- Xavier! Pay more respect to me. I’ve helped you a lot even if you don’t know that…_

_\- Wait…_ \- Xavier remembered the time when he was found guilty for that man’s death, remembered a face amongst the jury, the only one who thought about the reasons behind it, the anger, the past - _Wait… Your name isn’t Rene…_

_\- No! Now come help me I have no time for flashback._

_\- Mehdi!_

_\- Xavier… Come here quickly before I get an arrest warrant for you right now even if you didn’t do a thing._

Xavier thought about the gratitude he felt when he saw that man’s face in the jury, that man with his hands on his head, looking at the others with reproachful eyes.

 _\- I’m coming._ \- Xavier looked at Gaspard. saw that the keys were over the bedside table, put on his pants, got the keys and walked to the door, knowing that if he left the door open someone could break into Gaspard’s room, so he opened the door and then slammed it closed to wake Gaspard up and that’s what the other did. He didn’t see the other one when he looked to his side, going to the door he saw that Xavier had already descended the stairs.

Xavier walked to the 110th street, it was near the hotel where Gaspard was staying. He saw lots of police cars surrounding the place when he got there, lead a cigarette to his mouth and a hand to his pocket to get a lighter when Mehdi came waling in his direction.

_\- Xavier! Why did you take so long?_

_\- Shit, I had no money… I had to walk here. What happened here… again?_

The 110th street already had other protagonists and coadjuvants before that woman’s body. As said previously… Valley Of The Dolls.

_\- That…_

Mehdi pointed to a woman’s corpse. Xavier lit his cigarette.

_\- Okay… Do you think it was me who killed her?_

_\- Well, of course not… If i thought that, I would’ve already sent a cop to the hotel to get you by your hair as you already know._ \- Mehdi smiled.

_\- Then why do you need my help?_

_\- I need you to help me trace the assassin’s personality. I’m a detective but you know that I’ve never been in prison but YOU have, I know all sorts of people but… You know it better than I do…_

Xavier laughed.

_\- What?_

_\- Is that it? How am I going to get into a killer’s mind if I’ve never killed anyone? By conclusions? Wrong. Conclusions, evidences, clues… Any detective can get that and i don’t trust people who work with the law…_ \- Mehdi coughed - _Superior people… medical examiners, psychologists and psychiatrists? I don’t want that, I want to practice it, I want ideas, I want assurance. You know… a psychologist once told me that this murderer is probably a transvestite, but i don’t want a “probably”, i want a “YES HE IS A TRANSVESTITE” or… Well… Follow me…_

Xavier took the cigarette from his mouth and let out a puff of smoke slowly, following Mehdi while he walked amongst the other policemen. Mehdi stopped by the corpse with Xavier besides him.

_\- Okay… Is the drug still inside her purse?_

_\- Yes…_ \- Mehdi looked at Xavier and that was exactly what the detective wanted, he smiled - _A hundred grams…_

_\- Was the package open?_

_\- No…_

_\- She was going to give it to someone else, it wasn’t for own consumption._

_\- Yes and also… This “someone” didn’t come, if they had done she wouldn’t be with it anymore, even dead, they would just take it anyway._

_\- Exactly… At least that’s what i would do if was for me. Disregarding the one who would get the package, if the killer didn’t take the drug or money, this person isn’t interested in any of that, discard the junkies… Mostly by the cut over her chest… What kind of drug addict would do this?_ \- Xavier chuckled.

_\- The best they’d do would be taking pills to sleep._

_\- That’s it…_ \- Xavier looked at her purse, red… - _Her dress was red, her shoes… probably not and…_ \- He walked closer to her head - _This place didn’t smell good already… Shit…_ \- Xavier saw that there was a trash can near the body that had an arm pointed to it - _I refuse to put my hands into anything here… Ask for one of your men to look at it._

Mehdi didn’t ask for anyone to do it, he walked to the trash can and opened it.

_\- You’re right… Her shoes were black and the dress, red._

_\- They matched the purse._

_\- If it’s a transvestite… Why didn’t they take the dress or the shoes?_

_- Cause if someone caught him he would be screwed and I don’t think that’s something he wants…_ \- Xavier looked at the pavement - _Is there any footprint?_

_\- No… Just… high-heeled shoes… The size matches the victim’s feet._

_\- Any unlit cigarette?_

_\- No, only the victim’s…_

_\- How do you know it’s hers?_

_\- The lipstick…_

_\- Mehdi… If you wanted to be a woman, what would be the first thing you’d buy?_

_\- A lipstick…_

_\- Bingo._

Mehdi crossed his arms.

_\- I’m sending it to analysis._

_\- Yes but what’s if it’s from this lady…_

_\- I’m sending it to analysis._ \- Mehdi called for a cop and a man came running, got down and picked up the cigarette butts then put them on a transparent plastic bag. Xavier laughed.

_\- That’s so… Ted Bundy…_

Mehdi looked at the dead woman on the pavement and thought about the pictures of a lady called Lynda Healey that a medical examiner showed him once on a lecture.

_\- That’s it Xavier… The only things that change are the pattern and the reasons… I guess._

_\- The pattern may have changed, maybe the killer is a transvestite, but you have to think that maybe it isn’t._

_\- Did you mean… A man who kills women?_

_\- Yes,_ \- Xavier lit another cigarette - y _ou need to discard the junkies, but you can’t discard the perverts._

_\- Do you agree that if it was a pervert, she would have sexual abuse signs?_

_\- Yes, but everyone has their fetishes…_

_\- Okay…_

_\- Did I help?_

_\- Yes._

_\- Can I leave?_

_\- Yes._

_\- Au revoir, René…_

Mehdi stood besides the victim. Remembering the other pictures of Lynda Healy. He sighed.

_-Hell…_


	11. So if they don't believe me now, will they ever believe me?

_\- Yes._

_\- Gaspard, please... This is serious..._

_\- What time did you hear the screams?_

_\- 03:00 am._

_\- So I'm telling the truth._

_\- But the sirens rang at 05:00 am._

_\- They are not important to define it, what matters are the screams._

_\- He was so..._

_\- Drunk? Yes... And it also doesn't matter, because at 03:00 Xavier was sleeping._

_\- Gaspard, if you're lying to me I'll cut your fucking hair with an axe._

_\- Pedro... Trust me. If you want to check, you can come... The doorman helped me bring Xavier here._

Pedro heard someone knock on the door.

_\- Wait a minute, Gaspard._

The man got up and went to the door. Opened it.

_\- Mom!_

_\- Come in... -_ Pedro closed the door _\- Gaspard, I talk to you later..._ \- Hung up the phone.

_\- Gaspard? Combining the next time to leave me with the babysitter?_

_\- Xavier, cut that shit out._

_\- Ok..._ \- The boy sat down, took a cigarette, put in his mouth and lit.

_\- Gaspard told me you were with him yesterday..._

_\- Yes, yes... Sleeping... But I'd rather take some punches._

_\- Shut up!_

_\- Oh, calm down, mother. Anyway, I was sleeping... Why? Because of the dead woman?_

_\- How do you know?_

_\- Because everyone knows. Is in the paper._

_\- If Gaspard are..._

_\- Lying? Gaspard doesn't lie, Sebastian yes._

_\- Xavier... What is your problem?_

\- _My problem?_ \- The boy dropped the smoke through his nose and laughed down - _My problem is that I killed a man. You think I'm cold? The prison psychologist thinks I'm cold? I'M NOT COLD! This hurts, have you ever killed a man? No... Never, you're a good man, Pedro, continue so..._ \- Xavier put the cigarette in his mouth - _My problem is that fortunately I'm not cold enough to kill most people, while not lacking will sometimes..._ \- Xavier took the cigarette out of his mouth and let out the smoke quickly - _I already know I was wrong, I know that the man's justice only works when it suits and I know I'll pay for it for the rest of my life, Pedro... Because mistakes... Everybody makes mistakes and everybody knows they are going to have to endure the consequences, but I'm not crazy to do that. Not again, although I think I learned a lot from that, that thing somewhere else I couldn't. Even... That waiter stayed there for a couple of months. I never bothered to ask why._

_\- Jackson?_

_\- I don't know his name... In prison he had another name..._ \- Xavier laughed - _Sorry..._

_\- What do you mean?_

_\- It was kind of weird. I don't remember well... Because when he came out, I was there. Ok, no hard feelings._

Pedro thought at the time that could start asking the criminal record of the people he worked with, but he knew it wouldn't do much good. He was a good person, just had made the wrong judgment of Xavier. Anyone could be the killer. Pedro knew, because in such films as American Psycho and Con Air the killers were always regular people on a first impression. Then Pedro thought about Anna and Jackson, but knew it wasn't Anna, because the girl spent most of her time riffing with some friends and they all could confirm this if needed. Thought about Jackson, but... It could be anyone. Pedro just knew it wasn't Xavier.


	12. Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And from here it turns more bigger, sorry. :'(

Mehdi put out his cigarette and put the doughnut in his mouth, wiped his hands on a rag and organized some papers, beating them on the wooden table. The clerk was next. Mehdi bit the doughnut and placed it in cardboard box. The clerk kept looking Mehdi, waiting for the man to say something.

 _\- Write down, Quentin..._ \- Quentin, the clerk, put his finger on the computer keyboard - _Suspect, colon_ \- Mehdi finished chewing and continued - _Jackson Fourgeaud, a former inmate of the institution for juvenile offenders. Age, colon, 19..._

_\- But Mehdi... 19 years? Xavier was 17 when he killed that man?_

_\- No,_ \- Mehdi paused thinking on the boy's age at the time - _he was 16, Jackson now has 19, but just in case, write: Approximately 19 years._

 _\- You call the shots._ \- Quentin said and continued writing.

_\- Hair color, colon, blond. Eyes color, colon, Brown. Height, colon, TALL AS FUCK._

Quentin laughed.

_\- But seriously, what is the man's height?_

_\- Well, I dunno..._ \- Mehdi saw that wasn't being ethical - _Seriously, I don't know... Maybe 1.94. Write: approx. 1.94. History, colon, receiving male visitors in his cell at the institution for minors offenders. Indicted for attempted murder, robbery and illegal possession of drugs. Address, colon, 110th street, number 56. Occupation, colon, works from 11:00 pm at 05:00, in the Our House Club._

_\- Our House? I never stopped to watch Pedro's Club name._

_\- Is it... Madness._

_\- Pedro is also culture._

_\- Absolutely..._ \- Mehdi stopped thinking for a moment on Jackson's characteristics and thought about Pedro, he laughed and returned to Earth.

\--

 _\- Are you hungry?_ \- Pedro asked.

_\- No, actually no... Are you okay?_

_\- Now I'm fine. I believe in you._

_\- Amen..._

_\- Do you wanna a vodka?_

_\- Yeah._ \- Xavier smiled.

_\- I'm going to get it..._

_\- Okay, mom..._

Pedro went to the kitchen. Xavier took off his shirt and put a cigarette in his mouth. Heard the bell, took the lighter, lit the cigarette and walked to the door. Opened it.

 _\- I need to ask you something._ \- Gaspard said entering in the house.

_\- No! I need to ask... You'll just be quiet._

_\- You're the one who will... Why did you leave like that?_ \- Gaspard began to increase his voice tone.

_\- Stop screaming..._

_\- Why did you leave like that?_ \- And the boy lowered the tone.

_\- I can't talk about it here..._

_\- Why?_

Pedro came out of the kitchen with two glasses and saw Gaspard at the door.

_\- Gaspard! Come in... I caught one more glass._

_\- I'm sure that's not water..._ \- Gaspard smiled.

_\- Water, believe me..._

Xavier rolled his eyes.

_\- Why, God?_

_\- Xav, Stop..._ \- Says Pedro.

 _\- Yes, Xav... Stop..._ \- Gaspard agreed.

_\- Fuck._

Xavier went to the couch. Sat. took the cup and drank a sip of vodka.

_\- Come in, Gaspard, don't be shy._

_\- Shy? Him?_ \- Xavier asked, Pedro executed the boy with the eyes - _Ok, stopped... I just wanted to know anyway._

Gaspard entered and sat on the couch.

 _\- Actually, Pedro..._ \- Gaspard started talking - _Is that I needed to talk to Xavier..._

_\- No, he don't needed, no... He has nothing to talk to me._

Pedro was confusing, but confusion soon went away when he heard someone knock on the door.

_\- Come in!_

The brunette girl almost 15 years old walked through the door. The three boys looked at her and she carried bags. Pedro rushed to help her and the other two were then.

 _\- I bought these albums..._ \- Said the girl - _I just think that my Dad isn't going to help me organize my bookshelf._

 _\- I can help you..._ \- Pedro said and winked at Gaspard.

 _\- Son of a bitch.._. - Xavier Said.

_\- Come on, dear. I enjoy and give a hi to your dad._

_\- He's not in home, he got a job._

_\- That's great, he really was in need of one._

_\- What he's doing, Anna?_ \- Gaspard asked.

_\- He's a clerk._

_\- I think that soon he will be unemployed._ \- Pedro said.

 _\- I don't think so. He will do well._ \- Xavier said.

Pedro grabbed his car keys and walked out with the girl and with the bags.

 _\- Take care._ \- He said.

And the door slammed. Silence.

 _\- Why did you leave there like that?_ \- That calm voice.

 _\- Cause René called me and I had to go find him_. - Xavier let out the smoke through the nostrils calmly after answering. Gaspard frowned.

 _\- You..._ \- Stopped to think about what he would say, but couldn't think of anything - _You're dating with Mehdi?!_

Xavier never expected a question like that.

 _\- What? Of course not and..._ \- Xavier sat down on the couch again - _Why do I answer these things, my God?_

_\- Because I asked you a question..._

\- _First, I don't have anything to do with you, I don't owe you satisfactions of my life, but... All right, you want to know?_

_\- YES._

_\- Do you remember those dead girls? Yes? I'm sure... Yes... Okay, Mehdi is in the case... He's running this shit all... And called me for help..._

_\- He called you for help?_

_\- Yes..._ \- Xavier put the cigarette in his mouth - There's any problem in help a friend?

 _\- No, I just..._ \- Gaspard felt strange, sat next to Xavier.

_\- It's ok..._

_\- Xavier..._ \- Gaspard scratched his head - I _know you don't owe me satisfactions about your life and I know you don't have anything with me, but... You don't want to have?_

Xavier remembered the day he told to Gaspard that he was in love with him. He had 9 years old. The other had 12. He wanted to forget, just forget.

_"Oh how can recall, one of my bricks and stone and how you and I begun, yeah, you and I and how we first talk"_

He just wanted to forget. The other dodging, feeling cornered, facing him.

_"And how do we make love and how the lights come up in this song"_

He wanted to forget about the force, wanted to forget that damn force that he simply didn't know where it was and all the times that two arms rigged in metal cabinets, which he couldn't reach.

_"No I don't have a clue, no I don't remember if we..."_

And fading, fading, fading. Reaching other memories in his brain. He was lost again in those nonsense thoughts so that he couldn't remember things that he didn't want to remember. Pedro taught him that.

 _\- Ted Bundy..._ \- He said when reminded of that morning.

_\- Xavier..._

_\- Sorry... Do you asked me something?_

_\- Yes, but I don't think it's so important._ \- Gaspard arose.

_\- Why I woke up without my pants?_

_\- Cause sleep with pants is uncomfortable._ \- The boy went towards the door.

_\- Why did you run away from me when I said that I loved you?_

_\- Because I was afraid._

_\- And don't you think I was?_

_\- I'm sure..._

_\- Vietnamese relatives everywhere telling me that I am a sinner. I felt that the time I took taking courage led me nowhere._

_\- And what do you feel now?_

_\- Hatred._

Gaspard looked the boy in the eyes.

_\- And you feel well?_

_\- No, but I don't know if I can feel the opposite._

_\- And you don't want me to try to help?_

_\- I just..._

_\- Let me help you?_ \- Gaspard asked again. Xavier stayed static. Looked at a drawing on the carpet. Gaspard approached. _\- I didn't learned so much in life, Xavier, but... Hatred won't lead you to nowhere._

_\- I know..._

_\- You don't need to defend yourself now... I'm not going to do any harm._

_\- Of course not... Even if you wanted to._

_\- Even if I wanted to._ \- Gaspard spent the fingers in Xavier's face.

Xavier tried to dodge, but failed to move.

\--

Looked out of the window shade, was away, passing the tip of the finger on the cup of coffee and then broke the silence.

 _\- I didn't expect to talk with Gaspard._ \- He said.

Thibaut looked him and put cigarettes on the porcelain ashtray.

 _\- And what did you talk to him?_ \- Thibaut asked and took the cup with his thin fingers.

 _\- I don't know right... But he made me think and..._ \- Sebastian laughed - _I don't understand... A few years ago he was banging our heads on the cabinets and now he's giving me advices._

 _\- And you succumbed to his advices, by what I realized._ \- Thibaut smiled, drank a sip of coffee and landed the cup on the wooden table.

_\- I couldn't... And I didn't understand why._

_\- Me neither, I'm as surprised as you are._

\--

Anna opened the apartment's door, then... Went to the radio and hugged him. Pedro remembered when the girl came to Quentin's home, 6 years old, scared, her eyes shining and small hands winding the long beard of Quentin. Pedro just couldn't remember what Quentin had done with that apartment. It was as if some magical fairy with a magic wand had touched the door of that place with her wings. The only thing that didn't change was the Quentin beard. _"I wanted so bad to be a dad"_ said the man to Pedro, and added with _"That bitch killed my son, Pedro. KILLED!"_ when he was drunk. Pedro only cared about Quentin and the girl because Quentin couldn't keep a job and was afraid to leave the police as fast as entered, but Xavier had a very good sixth sense, so Pedro bet on it. The door was open, Pedro put the bags on the couch and Anna went to help him get the albums to organize them. Both heard steps.

 _\- Uffie. You've arrived?_ \- Quentin came in, holding a cup of coffee in hand and had a brown spot on his white t-shirt.

_\- Yeah, dad. Look what I bought._

_\- You..._ \- Looked at Pedro - _Hello..._ \- Then looked his own t-shirt - _Sometimes I think I have 15 years old and she has 27._

Pedro laughed.

_\- So you got a new job?_

_\- Yes... Because of this guy here._

The man didn't want to enter, was shy sometimes.

_\- I'm okay out here._

Pedro looked at him. René.


	13. Take me to church

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I couldn't translate it, I am too shy :'(" and I love you, babybot.

The cold settled into Xavier’s skin. The boy cringed. Time stood still and he forgot the old stuff trying to find other things to remember.

_“My lover’s got humor, he’s the giggle at a funeral, knows everybody’s disapproval, I should’ve worshiped him sooner”_

Involuntary movements. He saw his hand move up slowly to Gaspard’s hair and the face of the man approaching his face. A kiss. Xavier felt as if some demon had possessed his body. Pulled Gaspard’s hair.

_“If the heavens ever did speak, he is the last true mouthpiece”_

Gaspard bit Xavier’s lip, he heard a muffled groan and laughed down. That’s what he wanted, it was his healing. He then thought of a few things at that moment, like the water going into his nostrils and… Xavier’s hands, he forgot those things.

_“Every sunday’s getting more bleak, the fresh poison each week.”We were born sick “you heard them say it”._

Xavier’s hands, pulling him by the shirt onto the couch. They fell. Gaspard’s body weight made Xavier remember the lockers, the trees, the Park, Rimbaud, the screams, the blood. He forgot that when he felt the man’s hair fall over his face.

_“My church offers in absolutes, he tells me, “Worship in the bedroom”_

Xavier took Gaspard’s t-shirt and passed both hands on the boy’s chest. Didn’t notice the marks, didn’t noticed the tattoos, only the other man’s mouth. Gaspard stood up, straightened his hair in a bun on top of his head and opened the button and zipper of Xavier’s pants. Lowering it while Xavier laughed like a demon.

_“The only heaven I’ll be sent to is when I’m alone with you. I was born sick, but I love it. Command me to be well”_

_-Amen…_ \- Xavier said.

_“Amen, amen…”_

Gaspard laughed. Xavier supported his body on his elbows and unzipped the boy’s pants, opened it, took the boy’s pants with his feet.

 _\- I want you so bad…_ \- Gaspard said.

Xavier looked up and smiled. Lowered Gaspard’s underwear and started to masturbate him.

_“Amen”_

After a few minutes, Gaspard gritted his teeth and pushed Xavier on the couch. All that anger, all that waiting, Gaspard could see Pedro’s furniture becoming dust. That smell… Burnt wood. Xavier looked at him and kept laughing. Gaspard penetrated him and Xavier bit his lip so hard that… That taste… The boy spent his tongue on his lip.

_“Take me to church, I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies”_

Gaspard laid down and increased the rhythm of his movements then looked to Xavier.

_“I’ll tell you my sins, so you can sharpen your knife”_

Xavier moaned loudly, the sweat wetting his black hair, eyes closing, lips bleeding. A tongue on it. Gaspard’s tongue. Xavier kissed him.

_“Offer me that deathless death… Good God, let me give you my life”_

_\- You don’t need slaps. You just…_ \- Gaspard squeezed the boy’s legs with strength, that familiar strength.

_\- But I like…_

_“If I’m a pagan of the good times, my lover’s the sunlight to keep the goddess on my side. He demands the sacrifice”_

Gaspard slapped lightly in Xavier’s face.

_\- I know…_

_\- Hm…_ \- Xavier held Gaspard’s face with one hand. Pressed his chin - _Stronger…_

In a few minutes Xavier’s skin was red, a shade of pink, Gaspard was unable to identify. Xavier stuck his nails on the boy’s back. Heard a loud groan of pain. Ah… The pain… And just a little bit more. Blood. Scratches. Gaspard increased the rhythm even more. The hair came loose from the bun. Xavier held it between his fingers.

_“No masters or kings when the ritual begins. There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin, in the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene… Only then I am human, only then I am clean”_

Xavier didn’t count the time, he just wanted to make sure that everything was fine in his own mind. The blood on his skin was mixed with Gaspard’s cum and the fingers of the boy were on his belly, caressing. Xavier looked at him. The exhausted boy lying beside him on the couch. Xavier stood up.

 _\- You okay?_ \- Gaspard asked. Xavier was silent.

 _\- I just…_ \- Xavier took a cigarette - _This is all very strange to me…_

_\- I know… Just… I love you. Don’t you love me?_

_\- I don’t know, Gaspard._ \- Lit the cigarette - _Don’t know… I don’t know how these things work._

_\- I just… I thought that…_

Xavier swallowed the smoke and felt he would choke, swallowed the saliva and blew the smoke slowly, put the cigarette in the ashtray and stood up from the couch, putting on his clothes.

 _\- I just don’t know, I just…_ \- Xavier finished dressing - _I don’t know._ \- Sat and put on a pair of Keds - _I need to be alone._

_\- I… But…_

_\- See you later, okay?_ \- The boy hit one of the hands in the pockets of his pants, took the cigarette and put it his in his mouth.

Gaspard was unable to say anything. Rose from the couch and looked as Xavier went out.


	14. Worrying about the past

Pedro didn’t like seeing the girl smoking. Neither did Quentin. But what could they do? It was another life before.

 **Flashback** \- **Pretty music I hear, so happy.**

Quentin shoved his hands into his pockets. He was worried, because his past wasn’t that good… He went there as if it were about a job opening. During those days this act became usual. _“What’s your name?”_ and he heard birds singing, looked at the grey walls and he could feel the temperature on his face. He felt challenged to do the best he could do. He had washed his face and was wearing clean clothes, Pedro and Thibaut helped him with that. He looked at the kids. Happy, bicycling and playing with their dolls. Happy? Quentin thought about his son. Felt his eyes tear up and tried to avoid a crying fit cleaning out the corner of his eye and breathing hard. Saw the nuns walking from one side to the other assisting those little people. There were kids from one month old to teens. Quentin looked at the floor. Beckoned to one of the nuns and saw that one girl looked at him curiously. The girl had dark circles and was pale, but Quentin knew she was being well treated.

 _\- It’s abstinence…_ \- Said a nun.

Quentin looked at the tall woman dressed in a long white cloth.

_\- What did you say?_

_\- Abstinence. Sometimes when she’s out, she buys cigarettes somehow and only then she can sleep, only then she can play with a doll._

Quentin looked the girl sitting on the stairs, staring at him. Quentin raised his hand and waved but had no answer.

 _\- Can I go there?_ \- The man asked.

_\- Sure…_

Quentin went up the ladder and sat next to the girl. The girl kept looking.

 _\- Hello…_ \- He said, with no reply - _My name is Quentin. What’s your nam…_ \- Quentin was interrupted, the small hands of the girl landed on his beard - _I know… it’s too big, sorry. I should be more presentable._

The girl laughed.

_\- You’re funny._

_\- Me? Funny? But…_

_\- Funny yes, you don’t need hair to make a mustache… You already have one._

Quentin laughed and grabbed the girl’s hair making a mustache above her mouth.

_\- A mustache like that?_

_\- Yes… Mine is more beautiful than yours._

_\- And what’s your name?_

_\- Anna._

_\- Anna, is a pretty name but I have a better name for you._

_\- What?_

_\- Anna Banana._

_\- Will you be my father?_

Quentin swallowed the saliva and felt like a metal ball slip down his throat.

\- You want me to be your father?

The girl nodded.

Papers, papers, papers and a pink room with Donna Summer pictures stuck on the wall.

**End of flashback**

Mehdi was standing in front of the girl’s record shelf.

 _\- You create your daughter very well…_ \- He said to Quentin.

 _\- Me? But who gave half these records for her was him…_ \- Pointed to Pedro.

Mehdi smiled.

 _\- You have a very good taste for music,_ \- Mehdi recalled that Pedro owned a Club - _naturally._

_\- Thanks._

Mehdi felt a sickness quickly and a cold wind passed through his body, as fast as a seasickness.

—

Gaspard got dressed and kept staring at the carpet for a few minutes. Put a hand on one of the pockets of his pants. There it was.

—

 _\- I don’t know how you could do all that, Seb… I don’t know what he had that was so good, if it’s good I want to know too._ \- Thibaut said.

_\- He had drugs._

_\- I have incense._

—

Gaspard took the plastic bag from his pocket, raised it and shook it, spreading the powder inside the plastic.

—

Xavier sat in the park next to the school. The kids were others, but the trees were still the same. He wanted to warn them, send them all to their homes.

—

 _\- Incense smells better._ \- Sebastian Replied.

_\- Yes… And I have a better taste._

Sebastian laughed.

—

Gaspard was looking at the plastic bag for a few minutes and shed the white powder in his hand. Looking at it, arranging it, moistened his finger and put in the content over there, then put his thumb in his mouth and thought about that day in another club.

_“Mehdi, do you know what your problem is? You are a very nice man”._

Gaspard recalled quickly and laughed. Then sniffed all the content that was in his hand.

_“I’m not good… Gaspard… I’m not good… You guys are some demons”._

_\- Demons… Hm…_ \- Gaspard smiled and grabbed the glass of vodka that Xavier left on the table.

—

 _\- You like that?_ \- Anna took a last record from the bag and showed it to Mehdi.

Mehdi took the record. Right On Time. 1977. Mehdi looked at the girl.

_\- I love that. We have things in common, my little friend._

—

_“You know what your problem is, Mehdi?”_

Xavier looked at a girl reading under his favorite tree. No one was like Mehdi.

_“I’m a very good person?”_

Xavier smiled while thinking about little memories from the past.

_“Yes”_

_“Someone told me before”_

—

_“That’s what my father used to say. About being good, Mehdi and… Good people make good things and bad people put good things on the fire”_

Gaspard put some more of the content of another plastic bag over his hand. Gaspard remembered how Mehdi could be smart and make people nervous about it.

_“So are you trying to protect yourself?”_

He sniffed what was spilled on his hand and wiped it on his pants. Gaspard’s answers weren’t so good.

_“Yes… I always try to… But good people do us good”._

A crying fit hit the boy.

_“Then why did you step on good things? Why do you defend from good things, Gaspard?”_

—

_“Why do you defend from good things, Gaspard?”_

Mehdi looked the girl and went to the window, he was having a bad feeling. He used to say things to people, but didn’t like their answers, that answers made him think about more smart questions.

—

_“You and Thibaut…”_

Xavier didn’t like those thoughts, they were like slaps in his brain. He tried to concentrate, but those days were so clear in his mind that he could smell Thibaut’s gum.

_“Do you want some gum too?”_

_“No thanks, Breaky”._

Xavier put both hands on his head, wanted to take those flashes with his fingers.

—

Gaspard rubbed his hands on his face and felt like breaking the house. Mehdi didn’t get out of his head, it was like an Angel saying _“don’t do shit, thank you”_

_“Who knows, Mehdi? Who knows?”_

And so he decided that he wanted to sleep. And took some pills for it, just to sleep, wanted to settle down, he wanted to stop crying. And his father… All the fights, when his father told him anything about respect. Respect sucks.

_“I already have a father… A real father and his name is Mehdi”_

—

 _\- I… I need to go…_ \- Mehdi began to walk from one side to the other desperately - _I just don’t know where to go._

Pedro approached the man.

_\- You okay?_

_\- No, I’m not okay… And I don’t want to think about it, I don’t want to think about it._

—

_“Are you crazy? If Xavier says such a thing…”_

Xavier settled down. It was Thibaut’s voice. Xavier remembered that Sebastian didn’t like those conversations about the vietnamese boy declaring his love for Gaspard, so on that day it was only Xavier, Thibaut and Mehdi. Mehdi was insisting to Xavier to do that, but he was also worried.

_“I know you’re a lawman, Mehdi… But the law sucks…”_

Xavier closed his eyes and that park was another, it was the old one, he found himself sitting on that girl’s place. Thibaut was drawing, lying with his stomach against the cold grass, Mehdi was looking at them. That look.

_“I know, but the law is not the issue, the issue is that I’m not going to protect him if anything happens to you”_

_“I know but I’m not going to say anything…”_

Thibaut started whistling.

—

He closed his eyes and saw his father again, screaming in his ears.

_“Respect Me! I’m your father!”_

He just wanted to sleep. Felt as if a good thing had raised various bad thoughts to everyone. Everyone… He drank half the bottle of vodka and then wiped his mouth with his hand.

—

_\- Calm down… René._

Mehdi looked at Pedro and sat on the couch.

—

He closed his eyes again, he wanted to sleep, but those thoughts… And the last thing he saw was the boy with the striped shirt, red and white, jeans and the oriental eyes staring at him, scared but brave, in that beautiful day saying that beautiful thing to him.

_“I love you, Gaspard”_

And then he was running.


	15. All my secrets away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, babybot, again and again ♥

Sebastian looked through the blinds again, it was almost dark. They were in their day off. Thibaut looked at him and straightened Sebastian’s hair.

 _\- What are you thinking?_ \- Thibaut asked and got a cup of coffee, drank a sip and… _\- Eh, cold… - Put the cup on the table._

_\- We have to go to Pedro’s house._

_\- For what?_

_\- I just need to._

Sebastian felt cold.

_\- So come on. My coffee’s gone cold._

Both stood up and walked out of the cafe.

—

Xavier turned off his cell, wanted to think and wanted to think about good things, wanted to think about Gaspard, but the only good thing that Gaspard had done for him before that day was to deliver a flower on Valentine’s day. The boy left the flower fall on the floor while the kids were out of school and when he saw that Xavier didn’t run with them, called him, handed the flower and left. Then Xavier thought about that flower and smiled. Looked at the Keds. Felt old. _“How someone with 19 years could feel so old?”_.

—

Pedro looked at Mehdi. The man was standing in front of the living room window of Quentin’s apartment. He drank a sip of coffee. Pedro came to him and touched his shoulder.

_\- René._

Mehdi looked at him.

 _\- Hello…_ \- He tried to smile.

_\- What’s happening?_

_\- What is your home phone number?_

_\- René. But… If that was the problem, why didn’t you just ask before? I’d give you without probl…_

_\- It’s not this, Pedro. Call them, please…_

Pedro didn’t thought twice, went to the phone and called to his own house. There was no answer. Where were Gaspard and Xavier? _“I’m an idiot… Leave both of them alone, they will kill themselves”._

—

Sebastian opened the door of Pedro’s house. There was a smell of alcohol. Xavier. The boy came in and looked at the couch. Gaspard.

 _\- Is he drunk?_ \- Asked Thibaut looking over Sebastian’s shoulder.

Sebastian felt a sudden urge to burn a match.

 _\- Gaspard?_ \- Sebastian called him. He had no answer. They approached.

 _\- Gaspard?_ \- Thibaut sat on the couch.

Sebastian put his finger in front of Gaspard’s nose.

 _\- Breaky…_ \- He said, Thibaut looked at him - _He’s not breathing._

_\- WHAT?_

_\- He’s not breathing._

_“Be careful what you wish for, Seb…”_. Sebastian felt Pedro’s presence, looked back and didn’t see anybody. Thibaut got the phone with trembling hands and called Pedro.

—

Anna put one of the records to play. Quentin tied the girl’s hair and gave her a cup of coffee. Pedro had given up on calling, he was getting no answer and was scared that something had happened, but he should give some credit for the two boys. His phone rang. He picked it up and answered. Listening to what the person had to say.

\- _BUT WHAT?_ \- Pedro had raised his voice. Mehdi looked at him and knew… Mehdi knew… Everyone wanted to give minimal trust to Xavier and Gaspard, but… _\- Where’s Xavier? What do you mean with “you don’t know”, Berland? How don’t you know? Oh my god… Sorry…_ \- Pedro put his hand on his head _\- All right, I’m coming._ \- Hung up. _\- Gaspard, my God…_

—

Sebastian was outside waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

_“Respiratory arrest, Berland…”_

“ _But… How could a person with respiratory arrest still have a beating heart?”_

_“I don’t know, Berland… I don’t know…”_

—

Xavier decided it was time to go home. Picked up a flower in the middle of the road, he would give it to Gaspard. He would be a better person, would be the person he was before. He heard an ambulance siren. Normal.

—

Mehdi was the first to leave the apartment. Rushed to the car.

_\- WHAT THE HELL, GASPARD!_

Pedro came out right behind him and got confused upon realizing that the man seemed to be so intimate with Gaspard. They got into Pedro’s car.

—

Xavier came home, he was tired, had to change Chuck’s water and food. Put the flower on the table and got down, snapped his fingers and Chuck came in his direction. Xavier smiled.

—

Pedro and Mehdi arrived before the ambulance. They came running. Gaspard was lying on the couch. Thibaut was holding his hand and Sebastian… Sebastian was sitting on the ground outside. He remembered something. Shook his head, but the memory was still there.

_“What the fuck is that?”_

The empty classroom, Thibaut drawing on the wood table.

_“What?”_

_“What the fuck?”_

And showed a note in paper for Thibaut. Thibaut read and laughed.

_“Because I always write and I leave here… Maybe some employee has dented the others… But this she won’t dent, Xavier, I promise”_

Sebastian came back to Earth, put a cigarette in his mouth, lit it and looked outside.

_“Where’s the fucking ambulance?”._

Mehdi realized he couldn’t hide his cover for a long time, but he knew he had to postpone this moment for the last minute. The ambulance arrived, the nurses placed Gaspard on a stretcher and took the boy to the hospital. Mehdi went along. Pedro wanted to stay and try to talk to Xavier. He Called to the boy’s House.

_\- Xavier, why do you turn your fucking phone off?_

_\- I wanted to think, breathe clean air… Pedro, are you okay?_

_\- Me? I’m great… But Gaspard is not._

_\- What do you mean?_

_\- The ambulance just took him, Xavier… What happened?_

_\- Ambulance?_ \- Xavier looked at the flower on top of the table.

_\- Yes…_

_\- I…_

_\- Xavier, what happened?_

—

Xavier had embarrassed to say.

_\- I left there and went for a walk… I… Where is he? Where is that…_

Pedro couldn’t hear anything else, called Xavier and the boy didn’t answer. He became concerned. In less than half an hour Xavier walked through his door.

 _\- Okay, now… You need to explain some things, isn’t it?_ \- Pedro asked.

 _\- Explain what?_ \- Thibaut asked.

_\- From where does René knows Gaspard?_

Silence.

 _\- This is something you need to ask him_. - Said Thibaut.

 _\- Fuck…_ \- Xavier said.

 _\- What is it?_ \- Sebastian took a plastic bag.

 _\- Cocaine…_ \- Xavier replied and thought _\- Wait… What?_

 _\- I need to go…_ \- Sebastian said, knew that thing would get worse if he continued to hold that paper with him.

- _Where you going?_ \- Thibaut asked.

_\- Home._


	16. Villain and hero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I took so long to continue. I really don't have a excuse :'(

Sebastian was feeling guilty. He stopped to think in every thing he had done. Villain, hero? He didn't knew. What defines a hero? Attitudes like that? No. Gaspard at least tried to be a better a person. He, on the other hand, got worse with the years passing so slowly. In the end, he was protecting Xavier or depriving him from happiness?

_\- I'm a fucking motherfucker..._

He opened his room door, ran to the drawer clothing. His phone vibrated in his pocket, but he ignored. He put down all the clothes on the ground, on his hurry he hit his hand on the wood.

_\- MERDE!_

He kept throwing his clothes on the ground. When he finished, he opened the false bottom that he had made in a improvised way and there it was... The phone vibrated again, but this time, he didn't notice. He took the letter. Old paper, faded. But Xavier needed to read that. He left his room, left his house slamming the door. Remembering at least of locked the gate. In his way to Pedro's house, he saw the waiter that worked for Pedro. Jackson. He looked to the man and the man didn't notice. The man was holding a red dress on his hands. Was so happy. Creepy. He raised an eyebrown and decided to get out of there. When he arrived in Pedro's house, saw him hugging a shocked Xavier.

 _\- He wasn't... He wasn't breathing... I..._  
_\- Calm down, Xav... Calm down..._ \- And then Pedro looked to Sebastian _\- Where were you? I called you many times._  

Sebastian looked to him shyly.

_\- I needed to get something in my house._  
_\- REALLY? WHAT?_  
_\- I can't tell you, now._

Thibaut looked at him from the door.

_\- Xavier, come here, please... You need to calm down._  
_\- I DON'T WANT TO, BERLAND!_  
_\- But you must... Come here, now!_

Xavier obeyed and went with Thibaut. Pedro was looking to Sebastian with his arms crossed.

_\- So? What is it?_

Sebastian just handed Pedro the letter. The man read.

_\- What are you tried to do? Protect him? Because, you know, you failed miserably._  
_\- I tried to, but... I was wrong._  
_\- You know he have to read, don't you?_

Sebastian nodded. On that moment they saw Mehdi running down the street. Both raised their eyebrowns and went to the street. On the end of the street had a vehicle. A man crouched and a body laying on the ground. Mehdi went towards that scene, put his hand on his head. Pedro and Sebastian went to him. Sebastian looked at the woman, naked, dead. His face gone pale, more than usual. His stomach betrayed him. He turned his back and threw up. Pedro was confused.

 _\- Another woman?_ \- He looked at her, scared.  
_\- Yes... FUCKING FUCK!_ \- Mehdi yelled.  
_\- W-what are you..._

Then the man that was crouched got up. Quentin.

 _\- And... Sorry, boss... There's actually something else..._ \- He handed Mehdi a note and the man took it.  
_\- "Catch me if you can, MEHDI!" HA-HA-HA, and this motherfucker is joking at my face..._

It was so confusing. Quentin had a new job, and was René that gave the job for him. If Quentin's job was be a cop, so Mehdi was also a cop.

**\--**

_"GUILTY!"_ said the judge's rough voice. 

 _"Non, non... You didn't understand nothing..."_ and Mehdi put his hands on his face.

\--

René wasn't René, René was Mehdi. Pedro didn't looked to his face before.

_\- He like jokes... He like games... And red dresses. I'm so fucked right now._

Sebastian looked to him. His face was green.

_\- Wait... Did you say red dresses?_  
_\- Yes..._  
_\- I saw Jackson. The waiter, passing here about half an hour ago, he was holding a red dress and smiling, creepy._  
_\- WHAT? He was going for..._

Sebastian wanted to throw up again. Pointed his finger.

 _\- There._  
_\- WAIT! MY EMPLOYEE IS A KILLER?_  
_\- I'm afraid so..._ \- Mehdi said.  
_\- Who is with Gaspard now?!_  
_\- The Doctors and the nurses, he'll be ok, Pedro. In fact, there's nothing we can do about it now. The procedure is so simple that any junkie can do it, the drug dealers mainly. We just had to call the ambulance as fast as we could, without this he could be dead now. They'll call me when he wake up, because he'll need to stay there for about a week at least, talking with psychologists, the psychologists will tell if he needs go to rehab or not. Then I'll let you know when he wake up. Go to Xavier, I think he needs you._

Pedro nodded, then pulled Sebastian by the arm and they went to Pedro's house again.


	17. Lean on me

_"If there is a load you have to bare that you can't carry, I'm right up the road, I'll share your load"_

 

Sebastian's face still was green, his stomach was on his back. Xavier seemed more calm, but even with that, Sebastian didn't want to keep holding that bomb for so long. He knew Xavier was worse than napalm, but it was better if he read that letter as soon as possible, then his nose would break and his life would keep on going. Maybe without Xavier by his side. He sat in front of Thibaut and looked to him. Thibaut shook his head, but he ignored.

 _\- Xav..._ \- He said and then looked to Xavier _\- You need to see something._

And analyzing Xavier's confused face, he handed his friend the letter, got up and left. On the outside, he lit a cigarette. Few minutes after, Xavier went to him, stoled his cigarette, put in his own mouth and gave Sebastian a punch in the eye.

 _\- Fuck..._ \- Sebastian said putting his hand quickly in his eye.   
_\- YOU HAD NO RIGHT!_  
 _\- I..._  
 _\- YOU WHAT? OI! YOU WHAT?_

Thibaut and Pedro went to them. Pedro held Xavier's body.

 _\- He tried to protected you, but he failed. He thought that was right, but it wasn't... Xav, calm down..._ \- Pedro said.  
 _\- CALM DOWN? I KILLED A MAN! I WENT TO JAIL!_  
 _\- Is not his fault..._  
 _\- I KNOW, FUCK!_

Sebastian wiped the blood that dripped on his nose.

 _\- Listen..._ \- He said _\- I know I was wrong about all this, about Gaspard. But on that time I didn't knew. He almost killed you, what you wanted me to do?_

Xavier looked to him.

 _\- Fine... I forgive you, but I will not apologize for this..._ \- and he pointed to Sebastian's eye _\- You deserved it._

And saying that, he went back to Pedro's living room.


End file.
